Day Before

I wasn't quite sure how the day before my surgery was going to go. Although I have been on dialysis for almost a year, and have had more blood work in the last month than many do in a life time, it still didn't feel like i was just about to go through a transplant. I wasn't sure if all the emotion would come to the surface and boil over. I wasn't sure if I was start to get worried. The one thing I did know is that if I was still awake at this point (11:45pm) that I was going to be hungry.

My mom had to stop eating at 5 and I thought it would be a jerk move to eat in front of her so i also stopped eating at 5. As i have mentioned in other posts, i am a closet fat kid, so even though I ate a lot before that point, I am still very hungry. As far as the other things I thought might happen; emotions were a huge part of the day, but only is the best way possible.

Starting at a very early hour this morning, I have been blessed with getting many messages wishing me good luck and other kind words towards both me and my mom. As many of you know, Lauren and I are into surprising each other by doing different things behind each others backs, good things of course.  As it came time for me to stop eating and start fasting for tomorrow, Lauren walks out with a bag.  In that bag are 3, yes 3 scrap books with pictures and messages and quotes and jokes and even a haiku, from family and friends both near and far. HOLY WATERWORKS.  I thought I was humbled but the turn out and support at the fundraiser last year, this blew it out of the water. I seriously think I went through half a box of tissues.

Throughout the day, I was trying to think of what I was going to write about in my last post before the big day. Part of me thought I would reflect of the past three years since I have been told that I needed a transplant. That's in the past and I have touched on that before. Part of me thought that I would talk about food and how excited I was going to be to have many if not all the dietary restrictions lifted. Then i realized that if I was still awake at this point there is not way I am going to want to be thinking about food. As the day progressed, and the inbox on both my phone and email got more filled, I realized that I needed to touch on a topic I hit on in one of my first posts.

I consider myself to by one of the LUCKiest people on the earth. Friends and family both new and old have put every ounce of their love and support into me over the last 2-3 years leading up to this point, yet managed to save enough to completely blow me out of the water the days just before. As mentioned earlier, today was a very humbling day for me to see people, both near and far, take time to wish me the best of luck and for a speedy recovery. As I sit here now trying to think of what to write, its hard because I am just so floored by all of you. Thank you doesn't even  come close to giving you the recognition you all deserve. I very much look forward to spending time with all of you after and seeing the great times we are going to have.

I am going to end this post with how I have been ending the calls today. It kind of started as a joke with a buddy but makes sense when you look at it.  Tomorrow is the the end of Ryan 1.0 and the start of Ryan 2.0 (Thank you for that one Tim). It is the end of a life of not being 100% and the start of a life with endless possibilities.  So to all of you I say;

See you on the other side !

My Lucky Number

Everyone has one.  Whether it is the day of your birthday, your favorite athletes number, a combination of numbers or your number from sports.  Everyone's number holds a special meaning to them.  Mine is one that I'm sure I share with many other people.  It wasn't until I was texting with Lauren while on dialysis today that I realized the significance of my lucky number and how it plays into the next month or so of my life.

Since we have now entered another month since I was given the date for my surgery, the number of days until the big day has gotten smaller and smaller. Maybe it was a mistake to start the countdown because it might make the time drag on, but Im fine with it either way.  Just like the oddities of the number itself, today is special in its own way.  Today is the only day in which the date of the surgery and the number of days until the surgery are the same. As of this morning there are 23 days until I have surgery on the 23rd of August.

I'm sure many of you reading this have one idea that comes to mind when that number is mentioned. One of my fondest memories is getting home from church on a Sunday during the winter and watching the NBC double or triple header of NBA games, all the while stuffing my face and sneaking in a nap.  More often than not the Chicago Bulls lead by MJ would fill the spot for one of those games.  For as long as I can remember my favorite and lucky number has been 23.  I even wore the number for 4 years of hoop in high school.

With the number of days until surgery getting smaller, the number of dialysis treatments I have left gets smaller too.  During my session today, one of the nurses told me that today will be the last time that I will see her before my surgery.  When I told this to Lauren, she pointed out that means that the big day is getting ever closer.  I don't think she (Lauren) realized at the time the idea that she had planted in my head for my next post.  I also don't think I realized until today that I am having surgery on my lucky number day.  As I have mentioned in other posts, I believe heavily in fate, and that everything happens for a reason.  Holding on to these beliefs has helped me get through the last 3 years of waiting for this day to happen.

The month of July wizzed bye so where is hoping the month of August does the same.

Fun Number 23 Facts

- 23 is one of the most commonly cited prime numbers - a number that can only be divided by itself and one. Twenty three is the lowest prime that consists of consecutive digits. Primes have been described as the "atoms" of mathematics - the building blocks of the world of numbers. An American businessman has put up a US$1m (£500,000) prize for the first mathematician to find a pattern in primes - a problem known as the Riemann hypothesis.

- More freaky numerical coincidences: Charles Darwin's Origin of Species was published in 1859 - 1+8+5+9 = 23. Two divided by three makes 0.666 recurring (allegedly - actually it makes 0.6666666667). The Hiroshima bomb was dropped at 8.15am - 8+15= 23.

- The first morse code transmission - "What hath God wrought?" - was from the Bible passage Numbers 23:23. In telegraphers code 23 means "break the line".

- "W" is the 23rd letter of the Latin alphabet. It has two points down and three points up.

- The average human physical biorhythm is 23 days.