I wasn't quite sure how the day before my surgery was going to go. Although I have been on dialysis for almost a year, and have had more blood work in the last month than many do in a life time, it still didn't feel like i was just about to go through a transplant. I wasn't sure if all the emotion would come to the surface and boil over. I wasn't sure if I was start to get worried. The one thing I did know is that if I was still awake at this point (11:45pm) that I was going to be hungry.
My mom had to stop eating at 5 and I thought it would be a jerk move to eat in front of her so i also stopped eating at 5. As i have mentioned in other posts, i am a closet fat kid, so even though I ate a lot before that point, I am still very hungry. As far as the other things I thought might happen; emotions were a huge part of the day, but only is the best way possible.
Starting at a very early hour this morning, I have been blessed with getting many messages wishing me good luck and other kind words towards both me and my mom. As many of you know, Lauren and I are into surprising each other by doing different things behind each others backs, good things of course. As it came time for me to stop eating and start fasting for tomorrow, Lauren walks out with a bag. In that bag are 3, yes 3 scrap books with pictures and messages and quotes and jokes and even a haiku, from family and friends both near and far. HOLY WATERWORKS. I thought I was humbled but the turn out and support at the fundraiser last year, this blew it out of the water. I seriously think I went through half a box of tissues.
Throughout the day, I was trying to think of what I was going to write about in my last post before the big day. Part of me thought I would reflect of the past three years since I have been told that I needed a transplant. That's in the past and I have touched on that before. Part of me thought that I would talk about food and how excited I was going to be to have many if not all the dietary restrictions lifted. Then i realized that if I was still awake at this point there is not way I am going to want to be thinking about food. As the day progressed, and the inbox on both my phone and email got more filled, I realized that I needed to touch on a topic I hit on in one of my first posts.
I consider myself to by one of the LUCKiest people on the earth. Friends and family both new and old have put every ounce of their love and support into me over the last 2-3 years leading up to this point, yet managed to save enough to completely blow me out of the water the days just before. As mentioned earlier, today was a very humbling day for me to see people, both near and far, take time to wish me the best of luck and for a speedy recovery. As I sit here now trying to think of what to write, its hard because I am just so floored by all of you. Thank you doesn't even come close to giving you the recognition you all deserve. I very much look forward to spending time with all of you after and seeing the great times we are going to have.
I am going to end this post with how I have been ending the calls today. It kind of started as a joke with a buddy but makes sense when you look at it. Tomorrow is the the end of Ryan 1.0 and the start of Ryan 2.0 (Thank you for that one Tim). It is the end of a life of not being 100% and the start of a life with endless possibilities. So to all of you I say;
See you on the other side !
